The main point of this is to tell you (sorry, I tend to get long-winded...I think it comes from Hunter) that we saw our adoption counselor there who had a letter for us from A & J. It was so very sweet and talked about how after meeting us that they knew they had picked the right parents for Addie. They also included A's ultrasound pictures. I still can't believe how incredibly thoughtful that was of them.
Our initial arrangement with them was a semi-open adoption which meant that Hunter and I would send letters and pictures on an agreed upon schedule through the agency so that A & J could have them if they chose. I was never very comfortable with the thought on a fully open adoption, I don't know why...maybe it is the selfishness in me that wanted Addie all to ourselves, maybe I was scared that if Addie knew her birthparents that that would somehow change her relationship with us...I really don't know.
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of A & J and what a wonderful gift they give us, but beyond that I wonder how they are doing, has A gone back to school, how is she coping with the whole situation, has her relationship with J suffered at all or are they still as in love as ever? Part of me really wanted to keep in touch with them and wanted Addie to know how much A & J really love her and what they did so that she could have a better life.
Early in January our adoption counselor called to tell me that she had been talking with A and that she had requested another visit with us and Addie. She still didn't feel like she had closure. My immediate thought was, no - Addie is ours, no one can take her from us. But once that initial thought passed and I verified that legally even if she did change her mind, there is nothing that can be done at this point - I was excited at the thought of seeing them again. That brings us to this past weekend and our second meeting with J & A. I wasn't nervous at all, I was really excited. I got Addie all dressed up, she had to look her best! As soon as we saw them it was like running into old friends. I gave them both a big hug and the conversation just flowed from there. We talked a lot about Addie, but we also talked a lot about our lives. They asked us a lot of questions about what we were like when we were their age and we in turn asked them about what their plans are and what they want out of life. They held Addie and called us "Mommy and Daddy" - I felt very weird and comforted by that all at the same time. They also brought us the sweetest gift, a framed and matted picture of Addie right after she was born in the hospital. There were several tears shed by both A and I at this visit. We talked about how we want to communicate in the future and decided that we did want an open adoption after all. I don't really know what all that means right now, but they do have our email address and a telephone number where they can call and check on Addie and we can keep up with how they are doing. As far as more visits, I guess we will just play that one by ear. Addie will truly know how much we both love her and care for her and I think that through our love for Addie we have a deep respect and love for A & J as well. I am so thankful that God has brought them back into our lives and really couldn't ask for a better situation. I hope that if they do get married one day that they invite us to the wedding. They will always hold a special place in our hearts.